(Source: jonwithabullet, via fuckyeahlizlemon)
Kevin: i can’t tell if it’s funny or sad that you pretend to have a presence and community on yahoo answers
"
And as I walked out the door for the last time, it occurred to me that whatever I end up doing next will probably deal exclusively with adults. That certainly has its benefits. Rarely does a grown adult put his pants on backwards and then throw a tantrum when you ask him to switch them around, as happened on a near-daily basis at this job. Never have I heard of a grown person pooping in the middle of the floor and being impossible to catch because the entire room is full of suspects. (That only happened once.)
But, on the other hand, the joy we allow ourselves to feel as adults is nowhere close to what kids experience every day for the tiniest possible reasons. I have watched children celebrate as if they just won the Super Bowl for all the following reasons…
-Popsicles.
-Being on a bus.
-Two boys finding out they are legally allowed to marry each other in Massachusetts.
-The Cat in the Hat coming back.
-Seeing an ant.
Obviously, human society would function at a much, much slower pace if these little events remained as big a deal for grownups as they are for children. But how often do you get to be around one of your peers when they are at their most enthusiastic and engaged? A few times a year, maximum. Weddings, promotions, buying a “Goonies” lunch box on eBay.
I don’t want this piece to be about how everything we need to know, we can learn from children. That is false logic. Kids don’t know math. They can’t drive. They’re terrible cooks.
But there are fewer and fewer jobs where you spend your day doing things that have to happen versus things that just “need to get done.” Firefighters. Doctors. That type of thing. I’ve probably never saved a life teaching preschool (unless you count pulling a lego out of a kid’s nose), but I feel like I got to spend my days at a rare level of practical and emotional engagement. And I’m really lucky. And I already miss it.
""Even though I was heading into my late twenties, I was still a child, ignorant of dance steps or health insurance, a prisoner of credit-card debt and student loans and the nagging feeling that I didn’t want anyone to find me until I had pulled myself into some semblance of an adult. I was a true believer in the urban dream — in years of struggle succumbing to brilliant success, in getting a break, in making it. Like most of my friends, I was selfish by design. To want was more virtuous than to need."
— Meghan Daum - My Misspent Youth
"Several cubicles are empty nowadays, the former occupants long retired but never replaced, their old Post-its fluttering whenever windows open. Under the abandoned desks, technicians have stashed broken dot-matrix printers and dead cathode-ray tube monitors, while the corner of the room is a graveyard of crippled rolling chairs that flip backward when sat on. Nobody throws anything away here; nobody knows whose job that is."
— The Imperfectionists - Tom Rachman
Monique: I got fired today
Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew - Safety Bricks
who knows
Jack: well i dont know
it’s hard to say
i’ve never been an adult
who knows how you’re supposed to feel
Tricked
Jack: but yeah this is why i can never vote for a woman president
me: oh god
HERE WE GO
Jack: you all get tricked into buying a crazy expensive dress you will only ever wear once in your life
me: NO
we don’t ALL GET TRICKED
i am not tricked
i don’t want a dress
Jack: hahaha we’ll see
Jack: the wedding industrial complex
Jack: i do like going to weddings and like
judging them
Cookie pieces!
Tom: The first thing we notice when we open up our bags is that we need to sue … the company.
Mike: Something has gone horribly awry with my sleeve of Keebler Fudge Stripe cookies.
Tom: Michael’s bag of Keebler Fudge Stripes … looks like Shrek sat on it.
Mike: They’re just decimated.
Tom: Yours are crushed! There’s not one whole cookie! My thing is, when I go to a store, and I get a snack, I like it to be in its whole form. I don’t want someone to have crushed it to dust.
Mike: These are cookie pieces! Let me tell you something — if they sold it that, as a snack —
Tom: What would they call it?
Mike: Cookie pieces! Gamechanger! Like I love cookie pieces, but I want to know, when I open it up — cookie pieces! Don’t tell me it’s fucking cookies if it’s cookie pieces!
Episode 2 of Mike and Tom Eat Snacks - Fudge Stripes
